"i felt so alone",
she asked "why" i would chose this,
for i had....

i didn't have an answer...
i'd been keeping to myself
as far back
as my earliest memories,
internal monologues...
conversations only imagined...

i did not
talk aloud
about
my hurts,
my wants,
my fears,
my heart...

those closest
to me
never really
knew me...

self-imposed limits
with family,
friendships that stopped
at imagined boundaries...

too many thoughts left
unuttered,
too many tears
shed
in solitude only,
too many words
left
unsaid...

just a way
of being
in this
world...
so many years,
normal,
my way...

now,
i know
other possibilities,
others ways...

it's hard
to live differently,
to challenge
myself,

i am creating
a new
way of being,
talking,
sharing,
allowing others
to know me....

and she
will continue
to ask me why,
when i
slip back into
solitude,
and i thank her
for that...