my heart goes out to j.

it looked like
the flu...but it wasn't

it was leukemia...
and three days later
her beautiful
13 year old
daughter
is gone...

like breath itself....

letting go
has never been my forte

this past year
i’ve had to learn
to let go

it wasn’t easy,
it still isn’t easy...

and now
i may have to let go
of something else
a hope...
a desire...

and again,
i don’t know
if i know how

when will i decide to let the universe
take me where it will?

i take it for granted sometimes,

this place where i live

until i look out the window at work

and see the deer grazing on the grass.

this one was taking a rest in my back yard...

beautiful, peaceful creatures

the cat has the right idea...today i'd like to curl up in a bucket and ignore the world...

it's hard waking at 5:30 a.m.
as usual, i've gone to sleep too late
pull on old sweats,
listening to hear
whether or not i'll need
a rain jacket.
throw one in the car (just in case).
i begin,
stiff and awkward,
joints and muscles resenting
having to move
before my mind
has even fully wakened.
i walk in the dark,
circling the track,
around and around.
old songs
rasping through
my earphones.
each lap
brings a smidgeon
more light into the world,
until
the night fully recedes
to make room
for one
more day...

peace....

"truth is what you get when truth is what you speak"

lines of a song
echo in my soul...
truth
is
what we need
to speak...

when words won't come,
it is
because
i can't find
my truth...

i'd rather
be silent,
than speak
empty words.

i write,
and delete...
and write,
and delete...
as truth
evades me