ah...decisions, decisions, decisions...
i said a while ago that i would not allow fear and trepidation to hold me back from living the kind of life i want to lead....and i'm not leading that life...so i've made a decision to make a serious change. i'm going to move. i will be giving up a great job, but i what i'm giving up to be here outweighs the rewards of my work. and i may have to take a loss on my house...but that will be the price i'm willing to pay for for i want to do...
a friend asked me last week-end if i'd consider moving. i said yes, but not for a few years yet. but i've been saying that for a long time...for ten years, in fact....it has become too easy to stay where i am, to hold on to the familiar and the secure. i think really that i was afraid to make a change and then regret the decision. i am still a little afraid, but i will survive...i always do...
it won't happen quite yet...but it will happen. i don't even know where i will go yet, but i've no great worries about that. i will have options.
in the meantime, there is paris...and the marking i have to finish tonight... :)
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(Update: this blog documented in words a journey, a transition into a new place of being...don't say you weren't warned...)
About Me
- jl
- Hmmm...irreverant comes to mind....hopefully there's more to me than that. I started this blog to try to document some of my journey, past and present...
Blog Archive
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2008
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April
(14)
- i sit in a hotel room....with a few minutes of ret...
- i wish i had the words to describe today....hard, ...
- one more for tonight...a hard one...i've always ha...
- it's been a fucking hard week....and it's been a f...
- i breathe in,and nourish my soul,with stories from...
- only i can do this work,no one else can do it for ...
- when you speak the truthi hear it with my heart,an...
- moving forward requires moving backward, and stand...
- any inventors out there?...how can i walk on my tr...
- ah...decisions, decisions, decisions...i said a wh...
- a freind brought me flowers today, and came for a ...
- paris anyone?its' done... it's really done. plane ...
- "if wishes were horses, i'd ride forever"i wish......
- what i learned this week-end...a 20 month old baby...
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April
(14)
my idiosycrasies...in no particular order...
1. i value honesty
2. i'm addicted to luxury hotels
3. i am usually reserved with people
4. i don't make friends easily
5. i love good food
6. i like to talk about myself, but usually only do when asked
7. i'm addicted to coffee - but only good coffee
8. i can make small talk, but secretly hate it
9. i'm hyper aware of people's "energy".
10. i don't like bratty children
11. i love a good read
12. i am a procrastinator
13. when i'm in a bad mood, it's easy to get me out of it.
14. i am an extremely light sleeper
15. i don't like shallow, flaky people
16. i won't fight for conversation space in a group
17. i am a loyal friend
18. i believe that there is always more than one side to a story
19. i am a horrible student
20. i don't like liars
21. i don't "play games" with people
22. i do like real games though
23. a great night is spent with a few close friends
24. i get anxious when i'm not organized
25. i want to see the world
26. i believe in love
27. i believe in forgiveness
28. i hate being taken for granted
29. i like to dress up to go to the opera once in a while
30. i like to wear comfy sweats and skechers
31. i have to have popcorn when i go to the movies
32. i like british movies
33. i'm a tv addict
34. i admire compassionate people
35. i don't like christmas hype
36. i like to cook for people
37. i don't like people who i can't rely on
38. i'm at home when i'm on the water (which i don't do enough)
39. i'm a recovering shoe-aholic
40. ...to be continued...
2. i'm addicted to luxury hotels
3. i am usually reserved with people
4. i don't make friends easily
5. i love good food
6. i like to talk about myself, but usually only do when asked
7. i'm addicted to coffee - but only good coffee
8. i can make small talk, but secretly hate it
9. i'm hyper aware of people's "energy".
10. i don't like bratty children
11. i love a good read
12. i am a procrastinator
13. when i'm in a bad mood, it's easy to get me out of it.
14. i am an extremely light sleeper
15. i don't like shallow, flaky people
16. i won't fight for conversation space in a group
17. i am a loyal friend
18. i believe that there is always more than one side to a story
19. i am a horrible student
20. i don't like liars
21. i don't "play games" with people
22. i do like real games though
23. a great night is spent with a few close friends
24. i get anxious when i'm not organized
25. i want to see the world
26. i believe in love
27. i believe in forgiveness
28. i hate being taken for granted
29. i like to dress up to go to the opera once in a while
30. i like to wear comfy sweats and skechers
31. i have to have popcorn when i go to the movies
32. i like british movies
33. i'm a tv addict
34. i admire compassionate people
35. i don't like christmas hype
36. i like to cook for people
37. i don't like people who i can't rely on
38. i'm at home when i'm on the water (which i don't do enough)
39. i'm a recovering shoe-aholic
40. ...to be continued...
Links
4 comments:
I just wrote a comment that failed to appear; I don't know if it's floating somewhere or gone for good, so I'm going to attempt to recap and if it ends up on here twice I'll delete this one...
I, too have been facing some changes. A year ago I was telling people I worked with I couldn't afford to leave, I was too deep in debt, and that I'd be working 10 more years until my wife and I could both draw Social Security along with my retirement.
That was before a year of 10 hour days and one day weekends. Before I watched the wheels come off many aspects of not only my life, but my psyche as well.
Now that the opportunity has presented itself to take my 30 and go, I can't get out the door soon enough!
Yes, I'll still be working, I won't be making as much, and odds are I won't have as "good" a job. I will have hours that let me see much more of my wife and hopefully my family while I am still able to enjoy them!
It's scary, but for me at least, the alternative is even more so!
My opening the first time I wrote this was that I could hear a voice saying "you'll always have Paris"! Probably dating myself badly...
Tonight on "Marketplace" on public radio they were speaking of how awful the exchange rate is between the dollar and the euro, and asked someone how to maximize it; they said if you are going to Paris and you are going to shop, hit the street markets and not the shops...
May Paris be everything either of us has ever dreamed of!
alan
alan - i know it will be. thanks for you words of support. you're right - it's about valuing what is really important to each of us in life, and acting accordingly...
j.
Yup your right, 10 yrs is a long time to say "in a couple of years" I know cuz Ive asked you the question several times myself, knowing you were not happy where you are, all I can say is Hallelulah!!!!
Yey! I'll send courage vibes too...
couragecouragecourage :D
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