one more for tonight...a hard one...
i've always had difficulties letting go...i guess many of us do. but it's even harder when it's people i have to let go of, people i thought were friends (and i don't use that word lightly), who would be in my life for the longer term, but who have, instead, moved on, to new lives, to new interests. but i have to, because it's all i can really do. we can't hold on to people in our lives if they don't want to be there. i'm not bitter. once i would have been, but not now. i'm just sad...profoundly sad for what is lost...what might have been.
letting go. peace.
j.
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(Update: this blog documented in words a journey, a transition into a new place of being...don't say you weren't warned...)
About Me
- jl
- Hmmm...irreverant comes to mind....hopefully there's more to me than that. I started this blog to try to document some of my journey, past and present...
Blog Archive
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2008
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April
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- i sit in a hotel room....with a few minutes of ret...
- i wish i had the words to describe today....hard, ...
- one more for tonight...a hard one...i've always ha...
- it's been a fucking hard week....and it's been a f...
- i breathe in,and nourish my soul,with stories from...
- only i can do this work,no one else can do it for ...
- when you speak the truthi hear it with my heart,an...
- moving forward requires moving backward, and stand...
- any inventors out there?...how can i walk on my tr...
- ah...decisions, decisions, decisions...i said a wh...
- a freind brought me flowers today, and came for a ...
- paris anyone?its' done... it's really done. plane ...
- "if wishes were horses, i'd ride forever"i wish......
- what i learned this week-end...a 20 month old baby...
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April
(14)
my idiosycrasies...in no particular order...
1. i value honesty
2. i'm addicted to luxury hotels
3. i am usually reserved with people
4. i don't make friends easily
5. i love good food
6. i like to talk about myself, but usually only do when asked
7. i'm addicted to coffee - but only good coffee
8. i can make small talk, but secretly hate it
9. i'm hyper aware of people's "energy".
10. i don't like bratty children
11. i love a good read
12. i am a procrastinator
13. when i'm in a bad mood, it's easy to get me out of it.
14. i am an extremely light sleeper
15. i don't like shallow, flaky people
16. i won't fight for conversation space in a group
17. i am a loyal friend
18. i believe that there is always more than one side to a story
19. i am a horrible student
20. i don't like liars
21. i don't "play games" with people
22. i do like real games though
23. a great night is spent with a few close friends
24. i get anxious when i'm not organized
25. i want to see the world
26. i believe in love
27. i believe in forgiveness
28. i hate being taken for granted
29. i like to dress up to go to the opera once in a while
30. i like to wear comfy sweats and skechers
31. i have to have popcorn when i go to the movies
32. i like british movies
33. i'm a tv addict
34. i admire compassionate people
35. i don't like christmas hype
36. i like to cook for people
37. i don't like people who i can't rely on
38. i'm at home when i'm on the water (which i don't do enough)
39. i'm a recovering shoe-aholic
40. ...to be continued...
2. i'm addicted to luxury hotels
3. i am usually reserved with people
4. i don't make friends easily
5. i love good food
6. i like to talk about myself, but usually only do when asked
7. i'm addicted to coffee - but only good coffee
8. i can make small talk, but secretly hate it
9. i'm hyper aware of people's "energy".
10. i don't like bratty children
11. i love a good read
12. i am a procrastinator
13. when i'm in a bad mood, it's easy to get me out of it.
14. i am an extremely light sleeper
15. i don't like shallow, flaky people
16. i won't fight for conversation space in a group
17. i am a loyal friend
18. i believe that there is always more than one side to a story
19. i am a horrible student
20. i don't like liars
21. i don't "play games" with people
22. i do like real games though
23. a great night is spent with a few close friends
24. i get anxious when i'm not organized
25. i want to see the world
26. i believe in love
27. i believe in forgiveness
28. i hate being taken for granted
29. i like to dress up to go to the opera once in a while
30. i like to wear comfy sweats and skechers
31. i have to have popcorn when i go to the movies
32. i like british movies
33. i'm a tv addict
34. i admire compassionate people
35. i don't like christmas hype
36. i like to cook for people
37. i don't like people who i can't rely on
38. i'm at home when i'm on the water (which i don't do enough)
39. i'm a recovering shoe-aholic
40. ...to be continued...
Links
4 comments:
That is a tough one... letting go of the dream of what you wanted something to be or thought it was... but you are strong and getting stronger every day, remember... your legs are strong and you'll move on......
Love you.
Someone I worked for years ago told me that when I was on my deathbed if I counted the true friends of my life and they numbered more than the fingers on one hand I would have been truly blessed.
Almost 30 years on, I see he was quite possibly right! Many I thought were have vanished, some leaving pain in their wake. I have come to accept this, and try not to wall myself off accordingly, though it's hard at times!
May you find before all is done that you run out of fingers!
alan
swann - i'm strong because of the people in my life who help me up when i stumble :)
alan - thanks...i hope so too!
(hugs) The trouble is that sometimes when you let go of one, the next one is easier to let go of... and they continue to get progressively easier to let go of... *blushes*
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